Things best left forgotten
by magensby
Summary: Why can't we get a 'rewind' when things don't happen as we would like? And if we could 'rewind' would we do anything differently? Evangeline Williamson has had her share of ups and downs since moving to Llanview, Pennsylvania. If she could go back in time and change some things exactly what would she change? We're about to find out.
1. Chapter 1

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **Things best left forgotten**

(Please remember that this is fanfiction and I'm making up things as I write so if it is not truly medical protocols do forgive me.)

Thoughts are captured in _italics_ surrounded by /

 **Chapter 1**

(The scene: Evangeline submits to hypnosis to remember the kidnapping and help the police to find Natalie Vega. Acting on a clue revealed during the hypnosis the police do rescue Natalie and John and Evangeline are at the hospital while the rescued Natalie receives treatment. Evangeline tells John to stop second-guessing himself and just be grateful that everyone survived. But it seems that John just can't let go of the guilt that he feels that both women were injured because of him. Later as Evangeline waits to enter the elevator to leave the hospital John exits the elevator. They look at each other as the elevator doors close.

Riding the elevator down to the lobby alone Evangeline thinks that John won't let go of his guilt and that will only weigh him down compounded with the guilt that he still feels from the deaths of his father and his fiancé Caitlin. She remembers the pain of the kidnapping, the hesitated rescue by John, the hypnosis, and the fact that John has offered Natalie much more compassion than he offered her after her rescue. As she thinks these things her head begins to hurt and her vision becomes blurry and then she remembers nothing.)

 _/_

Watching Evangeline leave Johns thinks,

 _/How does Evangeline expect me to go on? How can I not think about how it could have been her I pulled out of that pit? None of this would have happened it I had not gone back and forth between her and Natalie. Yes I'm glad that Natalie is now safe. Yes I'm here for Natalie but I'm also here for Evangeline but she doesn't need me, so she says. I've failed her I know. She doesn't understand that I have to protect Natalie because it's my fault that Christian isn't here./_

 _/_

Downstairs in the lobby people wait for the elevator to arrive. As the doors open people start to enter the elevator and stop in their tracks. Lying there unconscious on the floor is Evangeline Williamson. Hospital staff rush and put her on a gurney to take her to the emergency room. Doctors and nurses surround her checking her vitals but she does not regain consciousness. The doctor orders a CT scan and she's taken for the test. Meanwhile hospital staff checks for identification so that they can call her medical contact. They call her mother and Mrs. Williamson tells them she is on her way. As they are talking with Mrs. Williamson Dr. Michael McBain passes the room and asks what happened with Evangeline. The nurse stated that Ms. Williamson was found unconscious in the elevator and has now been taken for a CT scan.

Michael knows that he needs to tell his brother John about this before someone else does. He finds John still outside of Natalie's door and he approaches him.

" _John come sit down with me."_

" _Why Michael, is something more wrong with Natalie than you're telling me?"_

" _No John. I've told you everything about Natalie. What I have to tell you has nothing to do with Natalie. John, Evangeline was just found unconscious in the elevator and is now in emergency. At present they have taken her for a CT scan. They don't know what happened as she has not regained consciousness. Her mother is on her way to the hospital."_

" _Michael what do you mean Evangeline is unconscious? I just spoke with her. I just saw her get on the elevator. I have to get to her!"_

At that moment Natalie calls out for John. John looks at Natalie's room and is torn as to what he should do. Michael looks at his brother and feels bad for the decisions that John has to make but does realize that John had a great part in creating this difficult situation. Natalie calls again for John and just as John leans to walk to her room Natalie's mother, Victoria Davidson arrives and he tells Mrs. Davidson that he has to leave. She asks why because she can hear her daughter calling for John.

" _Mrs. Davidson I have something else that I must attend to here in the hospital. You and your family are here for Natalie. She's in good hands. Excuse me."_

 **A/N** **:** Is John ready to be there for Evangeline or is this one of his lame attempts to make him feel good about himself? Now this story may take a few chapters to complete. Two years is a long time to forget and her memory may come back in bits and pieces UNLESS the psychiatrist suggests that her mother and/or others tell her what she doesn't remember in an effort to trigger her memory.

I had such fun writing the amnesia story for Jethro and Margie I thought that I would try it with Evangeline and John but there is a major difference here. Evangeline and John are not together and when/if Evangeline's memory returns she will remember that they are not together. I think that it will be interesting to see how they both handle this situation. I'm up for the challenge, are you?


	2. Chapter 2

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **Things best left forgotten**

 **(Please remember that this is fanfiction and I'm making up things as I write so if it is not truly medical protocols do forgive me.)**

Thoughts are captured in _italics_ surrounded by /

 **Chapter 2**

John turns to his brother and asks if he will accompany him to find Evangeline.

" _Sure John come on. You will need me with you anyway because they won't give you any information on her because you are not family. You do know that her mother will not be happy to see you."_

" _Yes Michael I know but I'm not going for her mother I'm going for Evangeline."_

" _Why now John? You weren't this attentive to Evangeline when she was in the hospital after her rescue. Why the concern now? You know that's what her mother will ask and I dare say Evangeline will ask the same thing. I saw you hesitate just then when Natalie called for you. John don't give either woman any false hope that you will be there for them. They deserve better, especially Evangeline. It had to have been hard for her to endure the kidnapping in the first place but then to relive it under hypnosis. That had to have been painful. I understand that she provided a clue on Natalie's whereabouts that aided in the rescue. So Natalie owes her life to Evangeline. Now I don't have anything against Natalie but I don't think that she would have gone through what Evangeline did if the roles were reversed. Think long and hard about what you're doing John. Don't make matters worse."_

" _I know Michael, I know but I can't not go see how she is. I don't' know if she'll even talk to me but I have to at least try."_

When they arrive at Evangeline's room the doctor is in working on her and her mother is down the hall waiting. She sees John approach and goes straight to him.

" _Why are you here John? I don't want you anywhere near my daughter. You're the reason she's in the hospital. The stress has caught up to her. They're in there now trying to determine what caused this but I know. YOU caused this to my beautiful baby. I have no idea what she ever saw in you. You're not worth her. Just go and leave her alone. Why aren't you with Natalie Vega. You just rescued her didn't you? Didn't my daughter risk her sanity with that hypnosis to give the police a clue on where to find your precious Natalie?"_

" _Mrs. Williamson I'm not here to argue with you. My brother just told me about Evangeline and I just wanted to find out how she is doing."_

Before Mrs. Williamson can respond to John the doctor comes out to tell her that Evangeline is regaining consciousness and she can come in and see her. They all start to walk to Evangeline's room. Surprisingly enough Mrs. Williamson doesn't stop John from entering. They all stand around her bed and watch as she starts to open her eyes. The doctor shines a light in her eyes to note the pupil response and then starts to ask her a few questions. Then the doctor moves and watch Evangeline interact with the other people in the room, her mother, John and Michael.

" _Mom what happened and why am I in the hospital? Am I still in Llanview? When did you come from Maryland? I don't remember you planning to visit me this soon after my arrival in Llanview?"_

" _Evangeline what are you talking about honey you've lived in Llanview for two years now?"_

" _No Mom I don't live here. I just came last week and haven't even met my new client Mitchell Laurence. Who are these men with you? I see one is a doctor so I guess he works here but who's the other man?"_

At that point everyone in the room look at each other and then at Evangeline. The doctor asks,

" _Ms. Williamson what year is it and where do you live?"_

" _It is 2003 and I live in Washington, DC. Why do you ask?"_

" _Ms. Williamson, the year is 2005 and you live in Llanview, Pennsylvania. Over an hour ago you were found unconscious in the hospital elevator. You are now in the emergency room here at Llanview General Hospital. I'm Dr. Randolph and this is Dr. McBain. The man with him is his brother Lt. John McBain of the Llanview Police Department. It appears that you have some memory loss. We've conducted tests and see no physical anomalies that would account for your memory loss. I will request a consult with our hospital psychiatrist who will examine you and assist us with a diagnosis."_

" _Doctor are you serious? You're telling me that I have forgotten two years of my life. Am I going crazy? What happened to me that I could just delete two years from my memory. Mom what happened to me?"_

" _Evangeline just let the doctors do what they need to do. I'm here for you. I will call your Uncle Clay and he will come too. Dr. Randolph how long will she stay in the hospital?"_

" _Mrs. Williamson I really don't know. Your daughter is in great physical health so we ruled out any type of infection or other injury that would account for this phenomenon. Let me call Dr. Jamison and set up that consultation. After that then we will have a better idea how to proceed."_

" _Thank you doctor. Evangeline I will go and call Clay. Dr. McBain and Lt. McBain you can come with me."_

They all leave the room just as the nurse enters to take again Evangeline's vital signs.

Once they make it pass Evangeline's door, Mrs. Williamson corrals both John and Michael in a corner.

" _Do you see the damage that you have done to my daughter? She is so traumatized that she has lost her memory."_

" _Mrs. Williamson we don't know what has caused Evangeline's memory loss and it's unfair to blame my brother for this before we have a definitive diagnosis."_

" _Well Dr. McBain I will agree with you about that but I want you two to stay away from my daughter and don't repeat anything that you have heard about her condition. It is no one's business. Do you understand me?"_

" _Yes Mrs. Williamson we understand you. All John and I want is for Evangeline to get better. She's been through enough already and we don't want to do anything to hurt her. Right John?"_

" _Yes Michael that is right. Mrs. Williamson I am sorry for any hurt that I have caused Evangeline. But I do ask that you allow me to see her when the doctor says that it is okay. I care for your daughter Mrs. Williamson. You may not believe me but I do."_

" _John your actions do not match your words. Maybe it is for the best that she doesn't remember. Then she won't remember all of the pain that you caused her."_

" _Mrs. Williamson you may think that not remembering will help Evangeline but it won't. As a physician I know that she will be more stressed that she doesn't remember. She's already lived through the events once. If she has to live through them again as she remembers them they may be more traumatic than the first time. I hope that her memory returns quickly and she can make her way through this. I'm being paged so I have to go. Mrs. Williamson I hope all of the best for Evangeline, I really do."_

" _Goodbye Dr. McBain and I believe you when you say that."_

Michael leaves Mrs. Williamson and John standing in the corner. John wants to say something but before he can voice it Mrs. Williamson's phone rings. She moves away to answer it and John goes and sits in the waiting room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **Things best left forgotten**

 **(Please remember that this is fan fiction and I'm making up things as I write so if it is not truly medical protocol do forgive me.)**

 **Chapter 3**

Why I am sitting here in this hospital room with no memories of the last two years of my life is a mystery to me. The only thing that I can do now is wait for the psychiatrist to interview me, give a diagnosis and prescribe a course of treatment. Something must have happened to traumatize me so tremendously that my brain eliminated those memories. Was it to protect me or was it that the memories are so painful that the weight of them on my consciousness was just too much for my psyche to handle? I do know that if I was strong enough before to bear the actual events as they occurred then I am strong enough to remember them. I am Evangeline Williamson and will not shy away from the truth.

Dr. Randolph enters my room with another doctor whom I assume is the psychiatrist.

" _Ms. Williamson this is Dr. Jamison the hospital psychiatrist. I requested that he consult on your case."_

" _Dr. Randolph where is my mother and why is she not here?"_

" _Ms. Williamson your mother is in the waiting room. Dr. Jamison needs to examine you in order to ascertain a diagnosis and then we will ask your mother to join us. Are you amenable to that?"_

" _Yes that makes sense. Examine away Dr. Jamison."_

Dr. Jamison smiles and then begins his examination by asking me a battery of questions. He checks my medical chart and asks questions of Dr. Randolph. One hour later he completes his examination and invites my mother to join in the discussion.

" _Ms. Williamson after speaking with you and Dr. Randolph I have determined that your memory loss is caused by the effects of some traumatic event that has resulted in your brain establishing a blockade against memories of those events. The memories are still there but you subconsciously have blocked them. Something happened recently, I presume, that caused this reaction. All the tests done by Dr. Randolph conclude that there are not chemical imbalances or no physical trauma that has caused this blockade so we surmise that it is a psychological condition."_

" _So Dr. Jamison in layman's terms, something traumatic happened to me and in an effort not to deal with the memory of that trauma I have subconsciously blocked the memory of that event from my mind. If so then why can't I remember an entire two years of my life if this trauma is something recent?"_

" _In answer to your question Ms. Williamson it appears that not only has your mind blocked memory of that single event but it has blocked memory of anything associated with that event or may have lead up to that event. So it seems that two years ago something happened that started a chain of events that lead to the traumatic event that caused your mind to want to eliminate it."_

" _So does anyone know what happened two years ago that started this chain of events?"_

" _Before we get into that Ms. Williamson I do want to speak with you about a course of treatment. Knowing the initial event will not necessarily allow you to remember the subsequent events. You need to work your way forward not backwards. My suggestion is that you speak with people who can fill in the missing spaces in your memory. We are fairly certain that as you remember some parts of your past then they will trigger you to remember those parts that you have blocked. In that you don't remember the last two years then your family, friends and associates will need to help you in this endeavor. Mrs. Williamson can you provide a list of persons who might assist your daughter in regaining her memory. You and I can then schedule a meeting with them so that I can explain to all of them what they need to do. I will have regularly scheduled sessions with Ms. Williamson so track her progress and counsel her should any significant challenges arise."_

" _Dr. Jamison, yes I can provide a list for you. How soon can we begin this program? My daughter is a working defense attorney and I am sure her clients would be a bit concerned if she does not remember them."_

" _Mrs. Williamson I understand completely so I would suggest that Ms. Williamson take some time off from work perhaps two weeks to a month. I'm sure that it may seem like an eternity for an attorney but time is critical here. The sooner we try to trigger the memories the better. She can say that she's taking a vacation. The newspapers have widely covered a lot that has happened to Ms. Williamson in the past few months so I'm confident that her clients will be sympathetic.'_

" _Wait a minute Dr. Jamison what do you mean the newspapers have reported on what happened to me. What did happen to me?"_

The doctors look at my mother and my mother looks at me. She then says, _"Evangeline you were kidnapped."_


	4. Chapter 4

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **Things best left forgotten**

 **Chapter 4**

Did I hear my mother right? Did she say that I was kidnapped?

" _What do you mean I was kidnapped? Why was I kidnapped? Did it involve one of my cases? No wonder I don't want to remember anything about it. If it was recent why can't I remember things from two years ago?"_

" _Because two years ago is when you met the people who became involved in the kidnapping. Not that they were the kidnappers but that your knowing them resulted in you being kidnapped. Dr. Jamison I know that you didn't want to address this now but she has a right to know."_

" _It could not be avoided Mrs. Williamson. Now that it is out we can proceed with the treatment."_

" _What if I don't want to remember Dr. Jamison? Why can't we 'let sleeping dogs lie' as the phrase goes?"_

" _That may sound all well and good Ms. Williamson but there are other things that happened in those two years that have nothing to do with the kidnapping. You made friends, you gained new knowledge, you handled new cases and you grew as a person. Don't you want to remember those things? Don't allow the thoughts of the kidnapping to deter you. Don't you think that it has taken enough from you? Don't allow it to take anymore of your life. You have an opportunity to rewind your life Ms. Williamson. Wouldn't we all like the chance to change some things in our life? That's not to say that you can rewind and change the things that happened but you can reexamine what happened and learn what mistakes not to make and what risks you can take now that you know how the end is? I can tell that you are a strong woman Ms. Williamson just by the fact that you are a well-respected member of this community. That doesn't come by chance and it doesn't come easily. Now what do you say to us commencing this therapy. I can arrange a meeting room in my office building. We don't need to tie up this emergency room any longer. As soon as your mother supplies that list for me we can get started."_

" _You've convinced me Dr. Jamison. Let's do it!"_

" _Okay Ms. Williamson you are done here in the emergency room. I wish you the best in your recovery. I wish that we could have met under other circumstances but it was a pleasure meeting you and you as well Mrs. Williamson."_

" _Thank you Dr. Randolph for your assistance and for contacting Dr. Jamison. Mom I'm ready to go."_

" _Okay let's get you home. Dr. Jamison I will call you with those names and contact information as soon as I get Evangeline settled in her apartment. Thanks again Dr. Randolph and thank the nurses for me too."_

" _I will do that Mrs. Williamson. Good bye to you both."_

The doctors exit the room and mom and I leave and head for the elevators. On our way one of the men who were in the room when I regained consciousness comes up to us.

" _Mrs. Williamson so how is she? Does she remember anything?"_

" _No John she doesn't and it is as I suspected. The memory of the kidnapping has caused her to block any memories of anyone associated with it."_

" _I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help?"_

" _Don't you think that you've done enough John? The thought of that kidnapping has traumatized Evangeline so that her mind can't handle it. Good bye John."_

Not certain as to why my mother is so antagonistic against the man but I don't interrupt. We make it to the elevator and the doors open and people exit. We enter and I turn to face the closing door and look up just as the doors close and look into the eyes of that man and see a tear fall down his left cheek. The doors close.

 _/_

Once she settled Evangeline in her apartment, Lisa Williamson called the one person in Llanview that she knew who could help her. Nora answered on the third ring. Lisa explained everything to Nora and Nora said that she was on her way. It was dinnertime when Nora arrived so she did not come empty handed. She had an assortment of take out food because she didn't know what they might want to eat. When we arrived back at the apartment Evangeline took a shower and laid down for a nap. She awakens when Nora arrives and walks into the dining room just as Nora and I are putting the food on the table.

" _Hello, are you a friend of my mother's? I'm her daughter Evangeline."_

Nora is so taken aback that she sits down on a dining room chair. She can't believe that her best friend doesn't remember her. She wants to cry but she has to be strong now for Evangeline.

" _Your mother and I are acquainted but you are my best friend. I'm Nora Hanen."_

" _Oh, this is so embarrassing. I don't remember you. My mother has explained to you about my memory loss. Are you here to help me remember?"_

" _Yes I am and to help you with whatever else you need me to do. Come let us eat first and we can talk later."_

An uncomfortable silence envelops the three of us as we eat. Once finished eating and cleaning up we move to the living room. I tell Evangeline that I called Nora to help me with the list of friends and associates in Llanview who can help her regain her memories. As Nora starts calling out the names and contact information so that I can compile the list Evangeline interrupts after each name and asks how that person knows her. It may seem a haphazard way of doing it but it is working for Evangeline to attach the name to whether the person is an associate or a friend. When Nora gets to Todd Manning she hesitates and Evangeline asks her why she hesitated. Nora explains that although Todd is a good friend to Evangeline his is not a good friend to Nora but Nora does not want to exclude him because he means a lot to Evangeline. I am grateful that Nora has set aside her dislike of Todd in order to help Evangeline. I do notice that Nora includes Dr. Michael McBain but does not include John McBain. Before I can ask the question myself Evangeline chimes in,

" _Mom are those the two men who were there when I regained consciousness? So Nora why do you include the doctor and not the police officer? If I was kidnapped wouldn't the police officer be the one to talk with too?"_

" _Evangeline I'm not sure how much to tell you about your relationship with the police officer without Dr. Jamison present. I will say this though. If you do have Lt. McBain on the list please make certain that you are not alone with just Dr. Jamison and him in your session."_

" _I agree with Nora on that Evangeline. You have a very complicated history with Lt. McBain and I don't want any further harm to come to you."_

" _Now you two are scaring me. What did he do that I need to protect myself against him? You told me that he is not the kidnapper so what did he do that was so terrible that I must be on my guard around him?"_

" _Okay that's enough. I can't take this anymore. I think this lining up people to talk with Evangeline is a waste of time. I'm calling Dr. Jamison right now. We will yank this bandage off in one fell swoop. Nora if I can convince Dr. Jamison to come over now you then contact John and Michael McBain and Todd to come over here. We will have this session and get everything out in the open now. This piecemeal thing will not work for me."_


	5. Chapter 5

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **Things best left forgotten**

 **(Hope you guys are enjoying the story. Leave a review and let me know what you think of it.)**

 **(Mrs. Williamson's POV)**

 **Chapter 5**

" _Mrs. Williamson I agree. First let's call Dr. Jamison and find out if he can come. Why do you want Todd here if I may ask?"_

" _Nora I know that you don't like Todd and I appreciate that you're willing to set aside your dislike of him to help Evangeline but I think Todd is just the person to get John to talk when he doesn't want to talk. His brother Michael will try to protect John but Todd will not. It may get intense but I don't care. Todd will protect Evangeline in a way that neither you nor I can."_

I call Dr. Jamison and he agrees to come over. He has finished his rounds for the day and has time for the session. I explained to him my reasoning for getting everything out in the open now and although he hesitated at first after much convincing on my part he agreed that it made sense and will support me in this effort. Nora then calls the McBain brothers and Todd. They all agree to meet in an hour at Evangeline's apartment.

Evangeline sits and watches while all of this is happening. After a while she goes to her room and comes back dressed in an outfit best suited for work.

" _Evangeline why are you dressed like that? You didn't need to change clothes this is your home."_

" _Yes mother I did. For me this is a business meeting and I want to look the part. I know that neither of you might not understand but I feel so out of it in all that is happening and wearing this outfit makes me feel in control. Does that make sense?"_

" _Yes it does and it is a brilliant idea. That is why you are such a great attorney."_

" _Mrs. Williamson you are right. Evangeline that is a great idea to dress the part. Now let's get set up for this session. We'll move the furniture to form a circle and we can sit and we can all see each other."_

We move the living room furniture to create the desired effect but leaving room between each furniture piece so that one can walk between each piece.

Todd arrives first and helps with the furniture moving. Dr. Jamison arrives next and seats himself in the single chair nearest the fireplace. I have Evangeline to sit on the chaise that is placed next to Dr. Jamison. Todd takes the seat next to Evangeline and Nora sits on the sofa where the McBains will sit. I will sit on the last chair on the other side of Dr. Jamison. I won't sit until after the McBains are seated. Nora explained that we are having a session to help Evangeline regain her memory when she spoke to each of the persons that she called. Todd of course was totally blindsided because he did not know that Evangeline had lost her memory but he said that he didn't care if he knew but that he would be there to help his friend. The McBains finally arrive and we all sit down.

Dr. Jamison explains to everyone what we are to do. Evangeline has lost her memory due to a traumatic event in her life. She does not remember the past two years of her life. Instead of trying to help regain her memory one person at a time we will address the event that caused this memory loss and hope that it will trigger her memories to return.

" _Everyone here knows to which event I refer. Ms. Williamson was kidnapped. The trauma of that event and all the things that surrounded it has caused her to forget anything that was associated with that kidnapping. Now let me explain that even though the kidnapping is a recent event the people involved in it are not a recent memory for her. Ms. Hanen will continue."_

" _Thank you Dr. Jamison. Evangeline has forgotten the past two years of her life because two years ago she met the people who were involved with the kidnapping. Not that they were the actual kidnappers but her involvement with these people resulted in her kidnapping and so she has blocked them from her memories. But in blocking them she has also blocked things that had nothing to do with the kidnapping. She couldn't pick and choose to just forget one thing and remember something else so her brain simply blocked the entire two years. Well we her friends don't want her to forget us so we are here to help her remember and we will do that by revealing everything that has happened in those two years. I will go first. Two years ago Evangeline came to town to represent Mitch Laurence in his divorce proceedings against his then wife Natalie Balsam Buchanan Laurence. Evangeline won that case. Evangeline would want to forget Natalie Buchanan. Natalie has been nothing but trouble since she came to town. Evangeline was kidnapped because the Killing Club Killer had something against Lt. John McBain and wanted to hurt him. Evangeline was in a relationship with John but he spent most of his time rescuing Natalie."_

Michael interrupts Nora claiming that it is unfair to blame John for the kidnapping. John touches his brother's arm to stop him from continuing. Nora resumes.

" _Evangeline broke off the relationship and shortly after that she and Natalie were kidnapped. John arrived in time to rescue them. He rescued Natalie first and then Evangeline. By the time other police arrived the kidnapper had once again taken Natalie. Weeks later Evangeline submits to hypnosis to relive the kidnapping in order to give the police a clue as to where the kidnapper might have taken Natalie. Acting upon the clue provided by Evangeline the police find her and John enters a pit to rescue her. Yesterday they were all in the hospital after Natalie's rescue. Of course John was there for Natalie and Evangeline was there because she is a good person and was glad to see that Natalie was now safe. I was not there but I know my friend. Some time later she entered the elevator to leave the hospital and was found unconscious when the elevators open on the lobby level. When she regained consciousness she had forgotten the last two years of her life. Does anyone want to add anything?"_

" _John don't you have anything to say? My friend has lost two years of her life because of you. I must say that I am surprised that you can tear yourself away from my niece long enough to come and help Evangeline. You never seem to be able to do that when you were in a relationship with her but I guess now she is in distress then you are here to the rescue her. That is what you do isn't it. Try to rescue damsels in distress and unless they are in distress you don't have any use for them. Well my niece kept you very busy rescuing her. Digging up bodies to prove her innocence but you couldn't afford Evangeline any time. So what you come now to make up for what you did to her? Don't you have something to say?"_

" _All right Todd that's enough trying to goad my brother. John and I are here because Nora called us and asked if we wanted to help Evangeline to regain her memory and we both said yes. You antagonizing my brother will not help do that."_

I watch Evangeline while all of this is happening and Dr. Jamison also watches her. She has no expression on her face but she looks back and forth at the speakers as if she is watching a tennis match. My attention is then drawn to John McBain because he doesn't say anything but stands and walks over to Evangeline. She draws back from him as he approaches but then relaxes. Once he's in front of her he kneels and takes her hands. He puts his head on her hands and then looks up at her. At first I can't hear what he is saying because he's whispering and then his voice raises and I hear him clearly.

" _Evie, Evie can you hear me? Come back to me Evie? I am sorry. I am so sorry for the hurt that I have caused you. I was wrong Evie! I was wrong to try to push you away. I thought that you would be safer away from me. You were right to leave me. I have only caused pain to enter your life. Fight Evie! Fight! You are strong. You are the strongest person that I know. Everyone here loves you. We want you to come back to us. Come back Evangeline."_

Then John does something that totally catches me by surprise. He starts crying. He's still holding her hands and puts his head down on her lap and continues to cry. He doesn't say anything but he continues to cry. Michael starts to stand to go to his brother but he notices that Dr. Jamison raises his hand to stop him. We all look at Dr. Jamison who returns our stares and then he nods his head towards Evangeline. I look at my daughter and notice that her eyes are closed but her mouth is moving. I can't hear the words but her mouth continues to move. I see Dr. Jamison put his finger to his mouth to indicate that we should not speak. Evangeline starts to move her head back and forth but still with her eyes closed. John still has his head in her lap and he has stopped crying but has not moved from that position. By this time I am ready to get up and move John from my daughter's lap when I hear her say,

" _Don't cry Johnny it will be all right. Don't cry Johnny."_

When Evangeline tells John to stop crying she lowers her head to rest on top of his. He still holds her hands. You could have heard a pin drop in that room. None of us knew that Evangeline and John had such a deep relationship where they have nicknames for each other and from the scene before us they have previously found themselves in this same position. We all knew that Evangeline loved John but did not believe that he loved her. We never realized that perhaps he too was in pain at the breakup of their relationship.

 **A/N: I don't know about you but I was a little teary eyed when John said, "** _ **Evie, Evie can you hear me? Come back to me Evie?"**_ **Let me know how this chapter affected you.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **Things best left forgotten**

 **(Thnx for reading and I appreciate your review. Does it surprise you how John is handling Evangeline's memory loss?)**

 **(John's POV)**

 **Chapter 6**

For a few moments none of us know what to do except Dr. Jamison. He smiles and looks at Evangeline and John and waits. He doesn't have to wait long. None of us do.

Realizing that Evangeline spoke to him John raises his head from her lap and looks at her. He raises himself to her level and looks into her eyes hoping for any hint of recognition.

" _Evie? Evie do you hear me?"_

" _Stop crying Johnny I am here."_

Unable to control myself I pull her to me and hold her so tight. She's back. She remembers me. But then I release her and look at her again wondering what else she remembers. But before I can ask her anything Dr. Jamison starts to talk to Evangeline.

" _Evangeline do you know where you are?"_

" _Yes I am in my apartment."_

" _Do you know why these people are here?"_

" _My mother is here because she's my mother and loves me. Nora is here because she is my best friend. Todd is here because he is my friend. Michael is here because he is my friend. John is here because he is my friend."_

" _But do you remember why they are here in your apartment?"_

" _Yes they are here because they care for me and wanted to help me regain my memory. I remember that I was at the hospital after Natalie's rescue and I told John to be thankful that we all survived. I was leaving to come home and then I remember waking up in the emergency room with no memory of the last two years of my life."_

" _Evangeline do you know why you forgot the last two years?"_

" _Yes that was when I met Natalie. She has been nothing but trouble since I met her. When I left her room yesterday I knew that she would go after John now that I was out of the picture. She did when I was in the picture so now that we're no longer together I know that she will do everything she can to get with him now. When John rescued her she had just what she wanted. John wasn't there for me when I was rescued but he was there for Natalie. That hurt me. I wanted to forget all about Natalie and so I guess I did. So I have my memory back John. You can go back to Natalie now."_

I don't move. I continue to hold her hands and look in her eyes. She tries to pull her hands away and I let her but I don't move from her. She folds her hands around her waist and still I remain kneeling in front of her. Dr. Jamison sees Evangeline's reaction and asks me to move back to the sofa. Only then do I stand and move back to sit next to Michael. I continue to look at her and she looks away. I am not deterred. The only thing that matters now is that she remembers. I can handle what else comes. I look around the room and everyone is watching Evangeline and I look up after being lost in my thoughts and she's looking at me. I hear Dr. Jamison ask her,

" _Evangeline what do you want to do now. Are you sure that you remember everything?"_

" _How involved do you want to get Dr. Jamison? I won the divorce case for Mitch Laurence. I met John later that year while I was working a case for Kevin Buchanan. I defended John against a murder charge in March of 2004. I was kidnapped in June of this year and here we are in August. I think that is enough. Thank you everyone for coming. I really appreciate your help in regaining my memory. You all can go home now."_

" _If you don't mind Evangeline I want to speak with you and your mother in the other room. Nora will you join us please?"_

The four of them go to Evangeline's guest room and leave Todd, Michael and me. I don't have to wait long for Todd to make a comment.

" _So Johnny what was with all of the crying and where did that Evie come from? Were you faking it just to get Evangeline to remember? You almost had me fooled. Don't you think it's time for you to return to my niece? I'm sure she's wondering where you are."_

" _Sorry to disappoint you Manning but I'm not going anywhere. I want to hear what Dr. Jamison has to say."_

" _Suit yourself but don't think that just because you did that little scene with Evangeline that you have any hope of getting her back. She's knows that you chose Natalie over her and women don't really cotton to men doing that."_

" _To set the record straight Todd I never chose Natalie over Evangeline. Yes I rescued Natalie first but that's only because she had fainted from the fire whereas Evangeline was still conscious and still fighting."_

" _Spin it however you want McBain, you rescued Natalie first and left Evangeline to burn. She will never forget that."_

" _John why do you bother trying to explain anything to Todd? He will only turn whatever you say into something negative. What we should all focus on now and celebrate is that Evangeline has her memory back and all it took was John crying. Brother I have only seen you cry two times in my life, first when dad died and second when Caitlin died. I didn't know that you had such deep feelings for Evangeline."_

I decide not to respond to Michael. There's only one person who has a right to know my feelings for Evangeline and that is Evangeline.

Dr. Jamison and the ladies return to the living room and he announces that everyone can now leave. Not wanting to leave without saying something I stand and ask everyone to sit down for a minute because I have something to say. Mrs. Williamson tells me that she doesn't think that this is a good time but I assure her that it is the perfect time.

" _If you all will bear with me for just a few minutes I promise that I will not keep you long. First, I'm glad that Evangeline's memory has been restored and that I was able to help her with that. Second, I have a confession to make. I know all of you here, except Dr. Jamison, think that I chose Natalie over Evangeline because I care for Natalie more. That is not true. The reason that I do the things that I do for Natalie is because I feel responsible for her husband's death. But that's just it. Her husband is not dead. The man that we all thought was a Christian Vega imposter is really Christian Vega. Months ago I had a DNA test done on who we thought was an imposter and the results returned the day that the imposter was sentenced. I went to the prison to talk with Christian and he admitted that he remembered his life. He asked me not to tell anyone and so I didn't tell anyone. I have carried that secret for months and it has been eating away at me ever since. He asked me to protect Natalie since he couldn't and that's what I did. I don't love Natalie. I love Evangeline and I have since I tied a string around her wrist. I felt that I owed Christian because I'm the one who got him and Natalie involved in that FBI sting that resulted in his kidnapping. So Nora there you have it. Perhaps you can get someone to take Christian's case and get him released. He was telling the truth. He was tortured and brainwashed to kill Tico Santi. I'm sorry Evangeline for the hurt that I have caused you and for not stopping Natalie from interfering in our relationship. At times I was blind to her interference as I was blind to many things that she did because I was always looking at her through a lens of trying to protect her as Christian asked."_

After I finish my little speech in turn each of the occupants in the room have something to say to me, except Evangeline. She sits and looks at me the entire time and says nothing and makes no facial signs as to whether she agrees, disagrees, or doesn't care what I have to say.

Todd says that his niece isn't worth anybody's time.

Michael is disappointed that I didn't confide in him.

Nora tells me that she wants to see me in her office in the morning.

Mrs. Williamson thanks me for coming and that is all.

Dr. Jamison says that I should handle the unfinished business that he can tell that I have.

After that we all head for the door. Dr. Jamison and Todd leave first, then Michael, then Nora and I linger a bit hoping that Evangeline will say something to me but she doesn't until I open the door and she quietly says, _"I heard you Johnny. I heard you about the wrist thing."_ Then she turns and leaves the room leaving Mrs. Williamson and me as the only ones in the room.

" _You did a brave thing John. If what you said is true don't give up on her. Give her time. She's been hurt and feels betrayed. That takes a time to overcome."_

" _Thank you for that Mrs. Williamson. I won't give up this time. She's always been worth it but I never felt worthy. There are things that I have to do to get to that point and it will take time. I just pray that she's still here then."_

" _That's a risk you'll just have to take. Don't waste this second chance if she decides to give you one."_

" _On my life I won't Mrs. Williamson you can believe me when I say that. Good night."_

" _Good night John."_

 **A/N:** Okay now that surprised even me, that connection between Evangeline and John. Finally John reveals the secret.

And before you say someone can't get amnesia like this just remember this is fan fiction. Plus many years ago a friend of mine suffered from fainting spells with body tremors and the doctors couldn't figure out why. A few years later the fainting and tremors stopped on their own. Turns out at the time the fainting and tremors occurred she was in a very stressful and emotional relationship and when she ended that relationship the episodes stopped. It is amazing how the body can react to situations.


	7. Chapter 7

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **Things best left forgotten**

 **(This is for that.d***.pebbles for your reviews and continued support. Your reviews encourage me to continue writing my stories and I appreciate your support. For all the readers of my stories, your support inspires me and I thank you for your time.)**

 **(Evangeline wastes no time getting back to work and John tells her that he is leaving town.)**

 **Chapter 7**

Not a good time to take a rest because as soon as my memory returns I realize that I have so much work to do at my office. My mother convinces me to wait until the morning but I compromise and agree not to go to my office until the morning but I do work on the files that I have at home. I can tell that my mother wants to talk about what John said but I don't, not now. She showers and heads off to bed while I sit in my living room reading a file. Of course my mind starts to wander no matter I hard I try to focus. John loves me. He said it in front of a room full of people. Why didn't he ever say it to me when it was just the two of us? But he loves me. How can I sleep after hearing that? It's too late for us, isn't it? Enough of that I say and return to my work.

The next day my mother leaves for home and I head into my office. My court schedule is clear until next week and I do not have any client meetings until Friday. Today is Wednesday so I have time to catch up and it's good that I only lost a day. It's amazing how quickly your life can change. I forgot two years of my life in an instant. I shudder to think about if I lost my memory forever. But I am so thankful that I didn't. I have to do something special for my friends who came to my rescue. While I try to think of something I hear a knock at my door. I bid them to enter and a delivery person enters with a bouquet of flowers. I sign for them and read the card, 'we are so glad that you remember us so we will celebrate tonight at the Palace at 7:00 pm., your friends, Todd, Nora, Michael and John". I can't believe that they are doing this. Nora probably conned them in to doing this. Well I never turn down a free meal so let me finish my work and get home to get ready.

Not wanting to arrive late I get there ten minutes early. I see Nora and Todd and smile because they are standing as far away from each other as they can. I approach and give them each a hug. Thanking them both for the dinner we move into the restaurant. Michael and John are already at the table. Wanting to know I asked whose idea this was and everyone looked at Todd.

" _What are you crazy? Did you think I wouldn't celebrate you getting your memory back? I only have one friend in this world and if you forget me I have no one so of course I'm celebrating."_

I get up and go around the table to hug him and kiss his cheek.

" _You are the best Todd Manning."_

" _Don't tell him that Evangeline it will go to his head"_ Nora says.

" _I don't care it's the truth as are you all."_ So I go around the table and hug and kiss each of them on the cheek.

We order, eat and chat. It is an enjoyable time. As dinner ends we rise to go our separate ways and then John asks to speak with me. The others continue toward the exit and John leads me to the patio.

" _So what do you want to talk about John? If it is about the wrist thing I'm not ready to talk about that."_

" _No it's not about the wrist thing directly but it is indirectly. I want you to know that I've decided to get therapy. After your session last night I realized that counseling might help me to resolve the lingering issues that I have regarding the loss of my father and Caitlin. This morning after I met with Nora about Christian Vega I called Dr. Jamison and spoke with him. He recommended some places that might work for me. With his assistance I've filed for medical leave and will enter treatment this Saturday. It is an intensive twenty-four hours live-in facility just outside of Philadelphia. I didn't want to go to St. Anne's, that's just too close and will allow me no privacy. I will be gone for at least a month. When I return healthy may I come to you and ask for a second chance?"_

" _What will be different when you return John? We tried once so what makes you think a second time will be any different?"_

" _Because we both will be different. I want a life with you Evangeline."_

" _I won't wait for you John. What if you change your mind and I wait and then I have nothing. I'm not saying that I'm going out looking for a man but if one comes my way and I'm interested then who knows what may happen. I will not reject him just to wait for you. That's too much to ask."_

" _All right then what about this? When I return and you're not involved with anyone will you at least consider giving me another chance?"_

" _Well when you put it that way then there is a possibility for that to happen."_

" _I'll take that then. I probably won't see you before I leave and they frown upon contact with the outside so I'll see you when I return."_

In an effort to show John that I wish him well I hug him and tell him, 'I wish you well John'.

/

My caseload is keeping me busy day and night. I'm glad Thanksgiving is next week and I will take the week off to get some rest. The last few months have been hard but I have enjoyed it and plus it served a purpose. It kept me from thinking about John and did not allow me any social time so there was no new man in my life. John will just love to hear that. Since it's been longer than one month since I saw John and I know he has not returned because I have been to the police station several times and Antonio is still filling in for him. But one good thing has happened since John left. Antonio did manage to get Christian released. I'm just glad that he didn't ask me to help with that case. I have not asked anything about Christian and Natalie and I have no plans to do so. **Natalie is someone** **best left forgotten** and I intend to keep it that way.

Finally the Saturday before Thanksgiving and I have the week off. Nora invites me for Thanksgiving dinner and I accept so I don't have to cook but I will do something small because I want to have my own Thanksgiving alone in my apartment. I have so much for which to be thankful. My mom wants me to come home but I beg off and say that I will try to make it for Christmas instead. She doesn't like it but she acquiesces. I make it to the store to buy what I need for the week and for my special celebration and make it back to my apartment before the snow starts. Talk about perfect timing. For tonight's dinner I choose something light, baked salmon and a salad. Sitting down I start my meal, as there's a knock at the door. Going to the door I ask who it is.

" _Evangeline, it's John. May I come in?"_

I rush to the door and swing it open. Surprised to see him I just stare at him trying to determine if there is anything different about him and then I realize that he's smiling and his eyes are clear and not shadowed as they usually are.

" _What are you doing here John? Are you just getting back to town?"_

" _Yes I am and I drove straight here. I haven't even been to my apartment."_

" _Oh my goodness come in and have a seat. I was just sitting down for dinner. Have you eaten, would you like to join me?"_

" _Sure I would. Let me just wash my hands."_

He goes to the kitchen to wash his hands and I pull out another plate and fill it with food and place it on the table. I'm so surprised I don't know what else to say so I don't say anything and just start eating. He must realize that I'm tongue tied so he doesn't say anything either and we eat without any dinner chat. Finishing he takes the plates to the kitchen, washes, dries and puts them away. I'm still sitting at the table dumbstruck and he takes my hand, pulls me up and leads me to the sofa. We sit and look at each other.

" _No questions?"_ John asks

" _How did it go? Are you all finished? You look good."_

" _Yes I'm all finished and everything went well. How have you been? You look good too."_

" _Thanks. I've been swamped at work since you left. I'm taking next week off to rest. I've haven't taken any time off from work in a long time and I'm looking forward to it. Why did you stop here before going home aren't you tired and plus it's late."_

" _I wanted to see you first. At our last conversation I asked you a question and now I'm here for the answer. Will you give me another chance with you? I have not changed my mind Evie. I love you and I want to make a life with you."_

How do I answer him without sounding harsh and do I really want to try again with John? I stand and look out of the window with my back to him. He doesn't say anything and I can only imagine how my hesitation is affecting him. Why am I afraid to give him another chance? Now that we both know what is at stake won't we try harder to make things work. When did I get to be such a coward? Probably since I got my heart broken but John explained his reasoning. But do I really believe what he said. YES. So what is my answer to his question? I turn and move to sit next to him. Looking him in the eyes I say,

" _When do you return to work?"_ I can see that John is caught off guard, as that is definitely not what he expected me to say.

" _Well I have to see Dr. Jamison on Monday to get a release back to work so I guess that I will return on Tuesday and with Thanksgiving on Thursday it will make for a short week."_

" _What are you doing for Thanksgiving?"_

" _I haven't made any plans probably have it with Michael and Marcie at her parents house. What about you?"_

" _I'm having an early dinner with Nora, Matthew and Bo and then Bo and Matthew will go to the Buchanans. I will return home for my own private dinner. Would you care to join me?"_

" _Really? Of course I will. Just tell me the time and I will be here. Do I need to bring anything?"_

" _No just yourself."_

" _So does this mean that you are willing to try again with me? I really hope so."_

" _Yes I am John. We all deserve second chances but this time we will take things slowly. Anyway you owe me a date to the ballet. We never did do that remember?"_

" _Yes I remember and I will go to the ballet and the opera if it means that we can be together."_

" _Don't force it John. We will do things that we both like to do, things like bowling, movies and pool for starters. Get comfortable again with each other. How does that sound?"_

" _That sounds perfect. Thank you so much Evangeline. I will not disappoint you again. Now it is late and I am tired so I'd better go now. Oh before I leave I also want to tell you that I'm moving out of the Angel Square Hotel. I don't know to where just yet but my doctor advised that I do in order to continue my progress. And would you…"_

Then John stops talking and I could tell that he's not sure whether he should continue. I wait a moment and then say,

" _Would I what John? Go ahead and say it I won't bite, really I won't."_

" _Would you help me look for another apartment? I had a thought that if you're taking off next week then maybe I will ask Dr. Jamison to make my return to work the Monday after Thanksgiving and I will have next week off too and we can spend the week together doing things together. I haven't any time to do fun things in a long time too."_

" _Well if you get the time off then I think that is a good plan John. Now go home and get some rest. Call me on Monday and let me know if you have the time off and we can plan from then. Good night John."_

" _Good night Evangeline."_


	8. Chapter 8

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **Things best left forgotten**

 **(After all that has happened Evangeline takes time to give thanks.)**

 **Chapter 8**

So the week of Thanksgiving was the beginning of our new relationship. We spend that week looking for an apartment for John that we did find in a new development not far from my apartment. By Christmas we have it all decorated just as John likes and of course he keeps his slot machine but otherwise buys all new furniture and linens and everything. He said that he didn't want to take anything from the old apartment. I do go home for Christmas and John spends his with Michael and Marcie. We do speak on the phone and my mother even spoke with John. I made a point not to listen in on their conversation. On my birthday John took me out to dinner but not at the Palace like we did last year. He says that he wants to go to different places other than the Palace and Roadies. He found this restaurant out on Route 2 that has great food and sometimes they have live music. He is right the food is great and that night they have a live band so we have dinner and dancing. I have such a good time.

When we make it back to my apartment he presents me with my birthday present. It is not a string of pearls and I am thankful that he doesn't try to give his mother's pearls to me again. Instead he gives me a nice tennis bracelet but it is wrapped in a big box so I think that something else is in the box so I keep pulling out paper. At the bottom of the box is another smaller box. I open it and inside is a princess cut diamond engagement ring. I pull the ring from the box with one hand and the other hand is over my mouth. I look up at John and he is beaming. He takes the ring from my hand and kneels in front of me.

" _Evangeline Williamson, the love of my life, when I thought that all was lost you entered my life and gave me hope. You loved me when I did not love myself. My life is incomplete without you. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife and make this old bum from Atlantic City the happiest man in the world."_

" _Oh Johnny! John McBain I would be honored to be your wife."_

" _Evangeline you are that someone who walked into my life and made me see why it never worked out with anyone else. We will have a wonderful life together and I will love you through it all."_

He places the ring on my finger and we hug and kiss. We sit on the sofa basking in our joy. I don't want to move. Everything just feels so perfect. John and I have come a long way since we met in Angel Square Park and it has not been an easy journey but here we are together again and happier than we ever thought we would be. We will not take this for granted, either of us. Our life together will be **unforgettable.**

 **A/N:** Well we've come to the end of another JOVAN story. I hope that you have enjoyed the read. Thnx to all of you who read it and those who left reviews. Your time and effort are much appreciated. If any of you have any requests for other JOVAN stories and have ideas for story plots, leave a note in your review or send a PM. Special thnx to blessedsoul and that.d***.pebbles for your constant reviews and encouragement. This writer owes you a debt that I hope that I repay in my writing of stories.


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